The Author

I crossed the hallway, though I was walking but I felt I was the only static object in the scene. The windows and doors went passing by, I was static but I found myself there, standing at the door of the dark room.

The cloud in my head kept breathing in the corner for days and days, feeble breathing that I heard but ignored, a tiny growth.  But then, the vapors multiplied before I could do anything they were far too many, crawling out of my brain, filling up my ears, spreading over my eyes. I feared, when it gets all foggy I won’t be able to see a thing but to my surprise, the fog opened enigmatic visions that I knew existed somewhere in the dimensions my eyes were too unequipped to explore, things that once belonged to me but laid beyond the grasp of my fleeting memory, odors so familiar, so known but unregistered in the log of my senses, a life that I lived unaware of its existence, déjà vu. 

I reached for the door knob, my heart beating in my throat. I twisted the knob and felt my tendons pulling on my stretched muscles forcing them to obey the orders of my brain; my heart rebelled, feared and trembled. I thought of the times I reached this point and retreated many, many times. Sheer darkness, the air grew heavier with weight of whirling thoughts, whispers, memories and time. Time the solitary resident of the dark room. I didn’t know where to start unfolding it. The tangled knotted past, a present that has no name or the future with all its intriguing mysticism. I stood baffled, witness to the existence of a world that only saints and Sufi spoke about, too naïve to understand I struggled. I failed, I failed, I failed. I struggled. Its taste still tingling at the corner of my mouth; the taste of old wine. I took a drop and soared, touched the clouds and flipped my wings, in broad day light I flew above the eagles with my feet on ground. I traveled miles and crossed the oceans, I went there where I wanted to be and saw the one I wanted to see and spent ages there yet all the time it took was mere minutes, mere few. I want more; I want more from the fountain. Though I know it is washing away my desires, slowly secretly taking me somewhere above all that I wanted and want. A part of me is longing to take a draught but something whispers in me to be afraid. The whispers crowd me, “the dark room will swallow you, you will not be able to see beyond the fog, you will lose everything and everyone, who will accept what you will become, no one with their right state of mind will understand where you are, no hand will pull you out, you will be gone, you will never be able to put the soul back in its body, can you take and digest it you can’t, no one can, it is kept hidden not to be found, don’t cross the boundaries, there is no going back….don’t don’t”. But I find myself already standing there at the edge. I have the soul of God and the body of Devil. The soul paid the price, long enough for the sins of the body and all I am doing is letting it go, free. 

"Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body."  1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Love or Truth, they are in constant state of evolution. Love can only be as static as life itself. Truth, can only be as truthful as reality and reality, like life, is in constant state of motion too.

Evolution, it is this varying state that enjoys the rain but has to bear the harshness of sun for it to grow and keep growing. The seed has to burst,the pain is excruciating, at a point it seems like the end but the shoot is to be let out and the root, too. Every end is milestone to set a new beginning in motion. The erosion, the decay, the adversity and the pain are all there to carve a pathway leading to a higher state of existence. The cocoon has to remain enclosed, congested and captive in its own being. The price has to be paid.