The Scent of Rain

He waits for the wounds to get infectious, rotten and festering before he offers you dressing, sits with you and sheds tears. 

He watches, as you starve. He is never in hurry. He waits and waits patiently until all you can think of is a drop of water and a morsel of food. And then he walks in, in all his glory, with an apple from the forbidden tree and a glass of wine, with a drop of blood in it. 

He flatters, he lures, he threats, he empties and discards but with the chosen ones, he sometimes gets generous. He employs them, a collar around their necks and a leash, in his hand. I hear them howling in the early morning hours. It late, too late.

I went to my Island and built walls where there were windows. I locked the doors and got rid of the keys. I was contented with my self-imposed isolation. The next thing I know, Harry is standing right behind me, keenly browsing through the books I stacked on my shelf.

I closed my eyes, took a deep breath.  “You never care for an invitation do you?”

He turned, said “Why should I?... I never leave”. 

I made my way to the chair and dropped on it. “Let’s face it. Only one of us is going to make it to the end and I will make sure it’s not you”. 

Harry laughed “You are threatening me? I mean … Seriously? That’s hilarious”. 

I shook my head “Well. Honestly speaking, if I kill myself right now that will be an act of kindness but with you still alive, I will prefer to be unkind”. 

Harry took the other chair; it’s just two of those at my place. He said “Try it…. may be you get lucky. But the real problem here is” He paused, “that you, and me… we are the same. You are Harry and I am you”. He leaned back in the chair “First, you got to find a way to separate the two”. 

I smirked “This is where you get wrong. We are not the same, you are not me and you can never be. However…. what you are trying VERY hard to do is to make me believe that I am you”. I smiled “Dude, you need to see a shrink, though I kind of feel sorry for that guy already”.

His eyes sparkled, “You know why you hate me? I am not any different than your annual exams, you see, I am a TEST. Who likes it haanh? No one, you can never like me. But you know what, that is not fair. It’s not. When you pass, you are the hero but when you fail, you blame the Test...you blame Harry! I don’t like that. I am, I am just a Test and you all, all of you, you think that I will go to Hell for testing you….pufffhhhh … cracks me up. I am doing you a favor; actually I am doing God a favor. How else would he know what your filthy little souls are capable of?”

So we were back to square one. I told him “Harry, you like playing God don’t you? This testing people stuff. It’s not your job, it never was. And you know why you are what you are cause YOU my friend screwed up your test. What did you do Harry, though yours was the simplest of all tests but no, you blew it up. Big guy with a big ego. You are a Failure Harry, a sadist. You like bringing people down so they can join you at your level, sure as hell makes you feel less screwed up doesn't it”. 

His eye burrows stiffened, he leaned closer to me and inhaled, uttered a moan, a sigh “You still smell of me”.

He smiled cunningly. “Do you think I don’t know? I can see it” He pointed his finger towards my left chest. “Deep in there, you liked my place better, this “level” you call it. You liked it, you know you did. The swamp, the filth, it is where you felt you belonged. It welcomed you… it….it owned you….and these angels of yours, what did they do when you needed them? You kept knocking and knocking and knocking…… No” He placed his finger on his lips “silence, nothing. You didn’t hear from them because they … DON’T CARE… give a damn” his hands went up in the air, his voice louder. 

He looked at me with pity, “I will give you what he didn’t. You, you are special to me. You are…”. He hesitated, his voice dampened “You remind me of love. I loved him as one should be loved, just like you did. I touched the heights that no one dared to; all I did, all I did was love. Nothing for myself. I was … what do you call it … ‘star struck’.” He paused. His tongue flicked out and wiped his lips in a quick snake like move.

“When I look at you I see myself. This pain, this anger, these…these bloody haunting question Why? Why? Why?” His voice louder, angrier “What did I lack? What was it that I didn’t do for him? I would have done anything for him, anything. If he asked me to, I would jump off the edge of sky for him and wouldn’t even ask why.  I gave him the best of me; I laid my emotions bare in his feet, I bowed to him and never raised my head. But what did he do?  Why … What was it that I didn’t have?”  Drops of water lingered at the corner of his eyes. 

I said to him, “Hey, Harry. Come on man. I never got my answers either. Let’s just say Shit happens”.

He quickly wiped his eyes with his hand “no, no its doesn’t. This love and hate. These are the sides of the same coin. It’s time to flip it, show the world that they can’t step on us…no not anymore.” He slowed down, stared at me “Your eyes … this … this darkness, flickering, dancing in your eyes. You are mine. You have always been mine. Don’t hide from it”. His voice grew softer “You… You need it. You need Me and we both know that”.  

I laughed “Stop yanking me. I don’t wear a collar around my neck and you are not holding my leash. I need you, Yes I do. But do I want you? Nops! I don’t.” I leaned back in my chair, carefree.

He looked as relaxed, as certain as I was. He smiled at me and said “But You will….. You will see that and when the time comes, I will not let you down. We will both see that. It’s only, a matter of time". He leaned  forward, closer to me "I mean, look around you. Come on, take a look. I am ALL you are left with". His eyes shined with vanity, his voice thickened with assertion "I am your only choice. There is nothing left…nothing. No doors no windows nothing. No more miracles” 

I got closer to him, staring back in his devil eyes. “Miracles?.... Harry, you know I was what I made myself to be..... Although I lost what I created but what you don’t know is that the Miracle…the Magic, is in these hands. If I can create it once, I will create it again. If I lose it again, I will create it again and again”. I saw his confidence melting, crawling back to where it came from. His face stiffened. I said "I will do what I WILL, but what I am afraid of, is that YOU will always find my will stronger than your ambitions”.

I watched his color change. He was furious. Though there were no windows and the doors were locked, but a fresh breeze blew and brought the scent of rain.