Lock and Key

“Move your ass” She came in the room and straight towards me dressed in her pink night suit, stripped shirt with stars on the pj, furious for apparently no reason. Her brows stiffed. She came, threw all her things she had in her hands at me and nearly sat on top of me. 

“Hey, not that you care but am a human being and that hurts” I pulled my legs out from what was all that she had in her hands, her books, her lap top and God knows what else.  I complained irritably “Why can’t you sit on your own bed Man!!”

“No. I want to sit here so that “you” move your ass out” She said it as if it’s a great favor she is doing me by throwing herself and all her stuff on me . 

“Arrggg !!!” I got out of the bed, making lousy sounds and assuring that she knows I did not like what just happened to me. I was happy lying in my bed for all those days she was gone downstairs to study. With lights switched off. TV turned off. In the peaceful yellow of the table lamp, I was quite contended with life and its laziness.  

“You have become such a couch potato. Go take a bath” She was not going to rest by just throwing me out of my own bed. Now my roommate or ‘nagging wife’ to be precise, wanted me to go take a bath too, in the night. 

“Naahh!! Such a waste of perfectly clean water. I believe in conservation of natural resources and besides, water is wet anyways” I never hesitate in having the world’s most stupid argument with her.

“Yea ! Sure. And GoD ! You still in those ugly jeans. Are you ever gonna get out of that shitty jeans of yours? I no longer remember you wearing anything else” She shouted at me. 

“Hey, my jeans is new. See, never washed even once” I turned, moved around a bit to make her believe that.

“Yea. Never washed since last year!” She taunted.

“Oh come on. Washing clothes, wasting water it’s good for nothing. It makes clothes look old” I stopped myself from laughing on my own silly joke. 

“Will you ever, ever get serious about anything Nazish?” Something was definitely wrong, her tone alerted me, and it wasn’t me. 

“I am serious. So seriously ….seriously in love with you. Muuaaahhh!” I tried to make her laugh. Didn’t work.

“Stop flirting your way out of it. Go change” She shouted at me again and started putting her books on the side table next to my bed, still fuming like a furnace. 

“Am not flirting. Why do you always have to doubt me. I mean I have been living with you for two years now. In fact almost three and there is a great possibility that if none of us is able to find a mentally dead, half blind, hopeless guy, we will get married to each other. That be good, no population increase! The Government will like that.” I made a complete idiot of myself.  She turned, looked at my face and laughed. I felt the room temperature coming down. Relieved.

“You know you have a ‘confused gender syndrome’” She said. When I make fun of myself, she always joins in. 

“Naah! I am just opportunistic and positive. See, if you are homo, you know it doubles your chances of having a Saturday night date. I read it somewhere” I said like a scholar. I still believe it to be true with entire honesty. 

“Yea, It must be your own blog” She smirked.

“No seriously and besides, beauty comes first and genders come second. It’s an artist’s quote” I lowered my tone as if mumbling “Who happens to be me”. 

“You are too late. I have a crush on someone already”. Gladly it wasn’t anger turning her cheeks red this time.

“Okaaay! So now we are talking. No wonder you so pissed off. Who’s that poor thing…Oh…I mean Lucky guy?” I made an intentional mistake to irritate her. 

“Nazish! I am serious….” And irritated she was.

“Ok. No seriously, tell me” I sat again on the bed right next to her and looked her in the eyes to catch a glimpse of what was coming next. 

“Promise me you won’t laugh” she said slowly, with her eyes full of request, searching for faith in me. 

“HAHAHAHAHA……….another teacher isn’t it?” I laughed like crazy. I knew this look in her eyes, I knew where such conversation would always lead. I knew I was right. 

“Nazishhhhhhhhhh……. I am telling you it’s not like the one I had before. I am serious” she said. Her expression did not change. She did not laugh along with me. I could feel, this time was not the usual pillow talk between two roommates.

“Yea Babes. You say it every single time and every single day, about a different teacher. HAHAHA”. I taunted and tried to erase my doubts.

“No. I have had these feelings for quite some time now and they don’t go away. I slept and woke up and they were there and I can’t think of anyone else, just him” She said it all in a split second, she was talking like a crazy a lunatic with her eyes not moving any where just words falling out of her mouth quickly, passionately and madly. 

“Give it some time and I am sure you will know what it is or if, it is anything.” I was not sure.  I always looked at her as my responsibility. Though she was only a year younger but I always felt it my duty to keep her away from all the horrible things I knew existed in the world. Including the worst of all, Love. I can’t imagine her going through it. She looks good happy. I want it to stay like that. No matter what it takes. I would lie on her face, but only to protect her.  For I know, her wings are clipped. For I know she cannot fly. How can I let her be out there and find it out on her own that She is not the bird that can fly. She never will and she should not try. I can’t imagine her falling and hitting the ground. I can’t imagine her crying on her pillow every night. I can’t imagine her fighting the whole world alone. She is a glass doll; she will break and scatter in pieces that no one will put together again. I knew her, I knew her family, I knew the odds. The responsibility was on my shoulders. I had to be the bad person for the good. Sometimes, it’s fair. I know I am stronger I can take the hate, her hate. I can afford my only friend to hate me for the rest of my life but I can’t sit by her side and say nothing, do nothing, watch her wither and fall apart.   

“God Nazish! You don’t understand. I have given it time and I still think of him, all the time. All day” Her eyes were holding back tears, her voice was trembling. 

I looked at her face, that look in her eyes… no more words needed no explanation was required. 

“You know, in science I studied about ‘Lock and Key Model’. Let me explain how it applies here. Every lock has a key, right and that’s the only one that fits” I don’t know what the fuck I was saying. Not a word. But I pretended it was the wisest thing to know in the world. 

She looked confused. She starred at me, with millions of questions in her eyes. 

I cleared my throat. I looked in her eyes; I made her believe my words. 

“What I mean is that when you get the key of your lock, you will know. It will fit perfectly. There will be no confusions no second thoughts. It will just fit. If you are confused, you know, it’s … May be…not the key you are looking for”.